Please wait

Find Atomic Shrimp on

Contrarious - Practicing The Impracticable
Practicing The Impracticable


Don't - it's a four-letter word as far as I'm concerned. Well... four letters and an apostrophe.

Throughout human history, the existence of rules and instructions has more or less guaranteed that some bright spark would come along and want to break or ignore them. Now it's my turn

An Exercise In Futility

They say these things can't be done - or they imply they're not worth doing at all. I'm not about to just sit back and take that as given. I'm going to go ahead and try anyway.

On The Agenda

"I wouldn't touch it with a ten-foot pole" - but why not? I'm going to try touching things - maybe people too - with a ten foot pole, just to see what happens.

"No point reinventing the wheel" - We'll see about that.

"Sending coals to Newcastle" - What would be so bad about that?

"Like putting lipstick on a pig" - Well, we won't know until we try.

"Harder than catching a greased pig" - Might be able to try that one at the same time as the above.

"Better than a slap in the face with a wet fish" - Actually, I suspect this one might be right on target, but I might try it anyway - you know - just to be... contrarious.

"A Wild Goose Chase" .- This might be entertaining for a little while

"Putting al your eggs in one basket" - I have a basket, and some eggs...

"Putting the cart before the horse" - If I can find a horse, a cart and a willing owner, I'll try it - I promise.

Hampshire Riding Therapy Centre is a registered charity dedicated to the provision of riding tuition and therapy to adults and children with all kinds of disabilities and special needs.
opening up a can of worms

Opening Up A Can Of Worms

I opened up a can of worms - and contrary to all possible expectations, it was a good thing...

Sewing a button on a custard pie

Sewing A Button On A Custard Pie

Sewing a button on a custard pie sounds like something that is both difficult and ultimately pointless - and of course, that's the whole point of the saying. but what if the button was edible..?

Watching paint dry

Watching Paint Dry

Watching paint dry is supposed to be a stereotypical dull activity that nobody ever actually does, so I did spend quite a while trying to think of a way to make it at least slightly interesting.

Using a sledgehammer to crack a nut

Using A Sledgehammer To Crack A Nut

So what's it really like to crack a nut using a sledgehammer? Can it be done?

No Such Thing As A Free Lunch?

No Such Thing As A Free Lunch

I was browsing Gumtree the other day - it's an online classified ads site - and I came across an ad in the 'freebies' section for a 'free lunch'. Sounds good to me, I thought...

Nailing Jelly To A Tree

Like Nailing Jelly To A Tree

Jelly, or Jell-O - fruit flavoured gelatin dessert - whatever you call it, it's not famous for its tensile strength, resilience or qualities as a construction material.

However, I do believe it's possible to nail jelly to a tree

Watching Grass Grow

Better Than Watching The Grass Grow

How many times have you heard someone say of some stupefyingly dull thing, "At least it's better than watching the grass grow"?

How can they actually know that for sure, unless - like me - they're prepared to have a go?

Making a mountain out of a molehill

Don't Make A Mountain Out Of Molehill

But why not? Why is this such a bad idea? - Heck, I'm going to try it.

Comments: 4 (Add)

All submissions are subject to moderation and editorial change where appropriate.
Enter Anti-spam code [?]

I don't know how entertaining a wild goose chase would be for the wild goose.... Then again, if the goose got tired of it, he could just fly away.

Posted by obax on Sep 30 2011 at 16:21
That's easy Dundee - just use homogenized eggs (eggbeaters or whatever the equivalent is in the UK). No breaking required (of course that just pushes it back a step since someone else did it, but...)

Posted by Silvercat on Apr 7 2011 at 17:55
Mike is a wondrous phenomenon: Creative Liver (well, you know what I mean!) artistic entertainer, teacher-of-Thinking, inventive boffin & Totally Weird Personage.
And he COOKS!
He is definitely what my late Grandma would have called "crossomical" (which I think means "contrarious" with a humorous twist.)
I want to try to copy him & do more jolly weird things to cheer up this worritty world.
Kudos, good karma & anything good beginning with K to you! (like kayligh - however it's spelled?)

Posted by Anya K on Dec 15 2010 at 19:35
But can you make an omlette without breaking eggs?

Posted by Dundee Doll on Jan 2 2010 at 10:16